If you’ve been following my blog Wyld Woman Goes Bush you would have read about a major transformation in my Personal Template, in Personal Development. I call this the Black Wolf.
I’m both proud and fascinated with this transformation and so I’d like to share it here with you. Hopefully this story will give you an idea of how these Life Coaching for Women sessions will help you shift old family patterns.
All my life I had this sabotaging pattern following me around. It was awful. One of two things occurred repeatedly throughout my life: 1. Someone I was close to would ridicule and put me down making me feel that I was not worthy and not wanted. 2. I would crash into states of “pity me, poor me” which sometimes resulted in a whole day of, what I refer to as, “Caving”.
These were patterns that were constantly reappearing, and I had no control over them. I had no idea why they were happening. It was baffling. They made me feel “Not good enough”. I always felt the need to prove that I was good enough, and hence acted accordingly. This put a lot of pressure on me.
As I continue to delve into the exciting world of Personal Development (PD) I developed an awesome PD TOOLBOX of techniques including: Meditation, Inner Reflection, BrainDump, Self-Talk, Activating Positivity, Trance States, Lucid Dreaming and flowing with my Inner Knowing (gut instinct).
Life has become a breeze and a fascinating journey as I Activate Positivity daily to manifest certain things.
When I started exploring the world of Lucid Dreaming and Astral Travel I called on my guides to shift any patterns that limit expansion and lucidity. As I retain dream memories I’ve become more familiar with my guides so it’s more of a personal chat such as, “Hey, I’m eager to expand my consciousness now guys – what old patterns do I need to shift?”
Hence, a pattern started coming up in my life more forcefully – in my face – directly.
…. the story goes something like this…
I had plans to go to a Buddhist Monastery and sit for 2 weeks up to 6 months to really delve into the world of meditation. A retreat from the world – which is so very distracting from the truth.
Just before I left a dear friend of mind threw up the same pattern. I was shocked. HURT. From my good friend of all things. WOW.
Eager to get to the Monastery and in a Loving Kindness environment I shrugged my shoulders and travelled.
Although arriving at the Monastery I was faced with the same pattern – coming from someone else. Gah. Where was the Loving Kindness? Missing apparently.
However, all my Personal Development practice and experience has strengthened my recall and resilience. I was able to see the pattern clearly.
Sure, at first it shook me up.
“Again?”, I thought. “Geepers”.
And then I laughed. “Okay, okay”, I said to my guides. This is the pattern I was asking to see and shift. It was quite obviously following me around. Ugh.
Now to deal with it.
But I had an extra BONUS. My Uncle (my late Father’s brother), while I was travelling to the Monastery, had given me insights into the core family patterns.
When he was 16 years old they followed my Grandfather Bud and found him cheating on my Grandmother with another woman. Yes, nasty raskel. But the real clincher here is that when she left him, and I quote my Uncle, “He blamed her for everything. He always bitched about her. Made up all these stories – and they weren’t true. Said it was all her fault.”
UGH. Those are the same things I’ve been experiencing… and in my confusion collapsed into “pity me, poor me” states as I didn’t understand what I did wrong during these patterns.
NOTE: Practicing non-attachment is a vital practice in PD. It helps you see the patterns clearly, and not take them personally.
So, I had this knowledge to work with now.
HOW DID I RESPOND?
Well, I wasn’t all that Lucid in the dream itself, but I awoke to it. And then went straight into meditation in that dreamlike phase.
In the meditation I created this image of a LARGE BLACK WOLF. Oh, he was ugly. His face was warped with red angry eyes and a snarl – nasty fellow. And there he sat in front of me. I called him BUD. (Grandfather’s nickname). In BUD I imagined all the things men have said to me, all my responses, all my naughty patterns – everything that I felt related to my Grandfather’s patterns. It took my full concentration during this time of creation.
When I opened me eyes (sitting in the dark) I became fearful because I could feel this NASTY WOLF in front of me.
There he sat. This NASTY BEAST.
Ok, now what?
I called in my guides and asked them to remove it. Two of my guides stepped up. I saw BUD disappear to a shadow at first and then saw a mirror version of BUD on all 4 sides of me. UGH. More of him I thought. But just the shadow.
OH BUGGER. I felt into it – why did it remain?
Leftovers for me to work through, act on, practice with.
Gathering my resources together and I went into a Loving Kindness Meditation. I generated the feeling of love within my being (Amma’s hugs are a great tool for this.) and sent it to everyone in the Monastery…. everyone around the world.
Well, that day was awesome!
But the most important thing was that the pattern that was in my Personal Template had been identified and shifted. I no longer have feelings of not being good enough or not being worthy in my being.
In fact, when I returned my friends noticed a difference, “You look different.” “You look great.”
This is not the only pattern I’ve shifted in myself. I’ve been active in personal development and deep innerwork for about 20 years now and it’s been an amazing tool/skill to have.
It’s absolutely fascinating work.
I continue to work with the BLACK WOLF. He’s become more of an ally now, rather than a saboteur. It’s actually pretty awesome having a Black Wolf.
Life Coaching for Women can delve this deeply into your Personal Development – into your Personal Template. If you wish to work at this level with me you need to be experienced with personal development.
If you’re just starting on this journey I recommend you choose one of the packages 100% YOU, Positivity and Mindfulness. Those will get you into the swing of things where we’ll build you an awesome Personal Development TOOLBOX which you’ll have for the rest of your life. You’ll feel empowered.